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Bi Visibility and Questioning My Bi Identity

The thing that started the whole existential crises that follows was the pink, blue, and purple whirly-gig pictured above. When I saw it, I had to Instagram it, because when anything has the bi-flag colors in it, I must document and share. I MUST.

But shortly after I did so, I felt bad about it.

I felt bad about it because I feel like bi-visibility is so very important. But though bisexuality is a part of my identity, it is not my prime identity. In the whole of my life and sexual experience and expression, other things like kink and polyamory come first, for me. In fact, I feel like kink and polyamory provide the scaffolding for my bisexuality.

Thus, after I posted the bi whirly-thing on my Instagram, I felt like I didn’t actually have the right to do that. In that moment, I felt like I really wasn’t “bi-enough.”

Yes, yes. I follow lots of bi-positive social media accounts and I’ve seen all the meme’s and infographics and hashtags about the multitude of ways people are bi, still bi, an…
Recent posts

Excerpts from "Cast From the Earth" a polyamorous romance

I had so much fun sharing inspiration photos and excerpts from my novel Booked that I wanted to do one for Cast From the Earth, my polyamorous romance with zombies set in the 1890's. This book features a F/F and M/M/F pairing and lots of fighting... for love ;) Check out some snippets below!

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Dust billowed up as the wagon ambled down a worn dirt road reserved for indigents and invalids. Curled in the back of the wagon clutching her satchel, Cordelia was certain she was neither. She had been offering a perfectly legitimate trade on that street corner back in town. Yet someone still turned her in for begging in public.

Cordelia found herself with no means to pay for a room at the boardinghouse and not a single establishment in White Spring would let her wash dishes or sweep floors for even one day.

Without any further discussion, Cordelia was shoved into the back of a wagon to be hauled off to the Clay County poor farm.

There had been a brief exchange in which the man entrusted with…

Let's Talk About Porn!

I could probably say this about any given week, but there has been another anti-porn wave rolling across my social media, so I decided to consolidate all the offerings I have from The Unlaced Librarian about pornography. I hope some of these resources will help some start or deepen their conversations about porn and the role it plays in their lives and relationships.
Blog Posts
Ways Porn Has Helped My Life
10 Reasons I Include Porn in My Marriage
Pornography: Not just a religious issue
Why I Defend Pornography
Videos


In the above video, I discuss how I went from having an anti-porn view to being a pro-porn advocate.
In this video I briefly go over 14 books on the topic of porn! And speaking of books...



Book Reviews
Coming Out Like a Porn Star edited by Jiz Lee 
Ethical Porn For Dicks by Dr. David Ley
DIY Porn Handbook: a how-to guide to documenting our own sexual revolution by Madison Young
Love and Pornography by Victoria and Garry Prater 

Exposure: A sociologist explores sex, society, and adul…

5 Frustrating Phrases in the Free Speech Debate

My flame of passion for intellectual freedom has never gone out, but being employed at a library again after an absence has certainly turned up the heat. And there has been a volcanic eruption this week in topics pertaining to censorship and intellectual freedom so I decided I would finally write and share this post that I’ve been meaning to do for some time now.

The following five phrases are ones that people have said to me in various debates around censorship and they are phrases that I’ve seen cycle over and over on social media. I’d like to remind everyone that censorship is an incredibly complex and vast topic and not all my specific examples will fit in every situation, but I’m doing my best to convey why I find these phrasings so frustrating and ultimately short-sighted. I also live and work in the sex positive community, so matters of sexuality and censorship is the area I’ve had the most experience with. If you’re a new reader hello, I’m Leandra, I write about sex and I’m a p…

I Write Erotica

“I write erotica.”
It took me a long time to say this with confidence rather than trepidation.
Living in a small Midwestern town, I never really know how someone is going to react when the topic of sex pops up, even fictional sex in books. Some people become ecstatic and chew my ear off for an hour because they so rarely find anyone else that enjoys reading smut. Other times I get a panicked lecture about how pornography is ruining marriages or how some aspect of sex/sexual expression will end up being the downfall of civilized society.
You know, it’s a mixed bag.
Most often, the reactions are much less dramatic. It’s either “Oh, cool” or “Oh, well, let’s talk about something else.” Which is perfectly fine.
Quite honestly, I’m not afraid of conflict or confrontation. I’d rather know where someone’s thoughts and beliefs are rather than covering them up with half-truths or silence. And since I’m a weird sex radical with both liberal and conservative views I’m fairly practiced at holdin…

Sex, Labels, and Cataloging

I've been thinking about labels a lot lately. Mainly because my muse has refused to let me write anything but multiple partnered stories and I'm wondering how the hell I'm going to market my next short story collection when the time comes to publish it. The book is erotic romance, yes, but the multi-partner thing is still not really a given—most readers expect a pairing.
I could just go on to say the stories feature multiple partners, but that doesn't really solve my problems. Because for many readers, there is a major difference between reading a M/F/M, F/M/F, M/M/M or a F/F/F story. And since all the stories I've drafted so far are a combination of M/F partners (F/F/M and M/M/F mostly) I pretty much cut out readers who are ONLY interested in hetero pairings or ONLY interested in same-sex pairings.
Perhaps, then, do I bust out my good old Bisexual label and say I write multi-partnered Bisexual erotic romance? Well, that would be nice, except in one of my stories a…