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Ways Porn Has Helped My Life

Earlier this week @KelseyObsession on Twittier (SexuallyAwkward.com) posted a poll asking if porn has helped people’s lives, hurt people’s lives, or been a neutral force. I answered that porn has helped my life... because it has!
I see the sentence “porn ruined my life” so often but I can honestly say that in many ways porn saved my life. (It’s a bit too click baity even for me to use as a headline, but it doesn’t make it any less true). On top of that, there has been another anti-porn wave on social media lately, so I thought I would go ahead and dedicate a post to the ways porn has helped my life.
First things first. When I write about porn, I usually get a lot of the same questions so I’ll just preface by answering those questions now: 1. No, I don’t work in the adult industry. Aside from one erotica story I wrote being published in an alternative porn magazine and a few erotic photoshoots that have never been published except as cropped header images for my blog posts, I’ve never be…
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Book Review: Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 3

It has been a few months since the release of Best Women’s Erotica of the Year Volume 3, but I have finally been able to spend some time reading through the book and collecting my thoughts for a review. (A video version of my review is at the end of this post!)
First off, one of my stories was published in the book and I am honored to have my work included with so many wonderful writers. My piece is called “A Stolen Story” and features a F/F/M pairing with an historical flair.
In my story, my main character is a researcher who is enamored with a bit of local history: An Old West murder of a saloon woman named Rosetta and her younger lover George. I let readers decide if what commences is sexual fantasy or legitimate ghost sex. Because the world needs more sexual fantasy and ghost sex!
My story is one of the multi-partnered stories in the collection, but there are also straight and lesbian couplings. The stories are contemporary and some feature elements of kink. Most of the stories also …

My Thoughts On Adding Kink to the LGBT+ Acronym

I would like to preface the following by saying that this is not an assertive, serious-toned post with a mic-drop at the end. At the end of the day, I’m really not passionate one way or the other on if a ‘K’ is added to the LGBT+ acronym. I’m not even using the full acronym to comment on adding the K on. However, since I wrote a book about being a fetishist, I admit I did have some thoughts when an article on the subject of adding kink into the LGBT+ appeared in my radar.
So, today I’m sharing some of those thoughts. These are only my thoughts. Consider what follows a sort of thinking out loud. I’m sure there are plenty of people more qualified than me who will hash things out. Especially seeing as the comments section on the above article is far longer and complicated than the original article. (Though that, perhaps was the goal.)
At any rate. Some of my thoughts.
First off, I do consider kink to be my sexual orientation. But I completely understand how people won’t accept kink as a se…

Dirty Thirty: Some thoughts on maturity

I celebrated my thirtieth birthday recently, as the shot glass full of penis candy covered by a condom pictured above indicates. My affinity for talking and writing about sex prompted my dear friends to throw me a Dirty Thirty, and it was a lovely time.
I admit I had to work through a few hang-ups around the big three-O. Typical worries about if I have made the most of my time so far, where I want to be in the next ten years and how to get there have been swirling in my mind for a few years leading up to this milestone. And the ever present knowledge of my disability and chronic conditions weigh heavy on my heart some days when I think about my future, my loved ones, and my writing. But I continue to be grateful, give thanks, celebrate life, and make decisions that the future me will thank me for, whatever that future may look like.
But a topic that is most pertinent to this blog and my sex writing is a word that has gnawed at my thoughts since before I even became a sex writer. And th…

Updated books list!

The Context of Sex Advice

I’m writing this post because I will likely reference it again in posts I write in the future. I’ve decided to stop hiding some of my thoughts that go against the grain. I’m getting uppity in my old age.
So here’s what I have to say: Relationships, sexual expressions, personal ethics, and sexual philosophies are all incredibly individual. Relationship advice that might be spot on for some people could be disastrous for others. Philosophies about sex could be astoundingly empowering and transforming for one person while to another it could be astoundingly harmful.
I saw an argument on social media a while ago that presented the following situation:
One person basically said that having sex with people who you were not attracted to could be a way to grow and learn in your sexual life. Another person said this was harmful because some groups of people were always forced to have sex with people they weren’t attracted to because of power dynamics and that idea was harmful. Arguing ensued.
But …

Book Review: When Someone You Love is Kinky

A few months ago on my trip to Los Angeles I was finally able to visit The Pleasure Chest, something I have been wanting to do for a long while. And of course while I was there I knew I had to buy a sexuality book to keep me company on the flight home. There were so many amazing books to choose from, but I ended up going with a book that I knew would be a staple for my BDSM library.

When Someone You Love is Kinky by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt was published by Greenery Press in 2000. And though it is not a newly published book, it is a solid and wonderful one to have in my collection as an educator and ambassador for kinky life.

I have read other books by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy (this title was published using Hardy’s pen name) and absolutely loved them. I have reviewed The New Bottoming Book and The New Topping Book and am looking forward to reading the other books by this duo on my to-be-read shelf.

As the title indicates, this book was written for people who are not ki…